The Art of Expectation Management
As a long-time dog trainer and behavioral consultant, I enjoy teaching dogs and their human moms and dads!
It’s my job to clearly identify the current struggles and dynamics in the home, understand their root cause(s), customize a training plan, and help all family members implement the training plan and reach their training objectives.
While no two families or situations are alike, they all have one thing in common: a need for help…yesterday.
When I first arrive at the client’s home, I'm often greeted with frustration. Many of my clients are at their wit’s end. You can hear it in their voices, and see it in their weary faces.
They've tried everything to resolve the issue, and nothing has helped.
Whether the problem is door darting, excitable greetings, excessive barking, digging, fighting between pets in the home, problems between the dogs and kids, counter surfing or any other number of challenging and difficult behaviors, I’ve seen it all!
Some people are dealing with multiple problems, and really need a “quick fix.” Dog-human dynamics can be tricky. Unresolved concerns often lead to stress among family members, so the more quickly the problems are resolved, the more quickly peace can be restored in the home.
While I definitely empathize and understand the client’s feelings, the reality is that it’s not always possible to resolve difficult challenges in a few hours or days.
I gently explain to doggy parents that this isn't a 30-minute T.V. show, where the dog is magically transformed by the end of the episode. We can't neatly distill several weeks of work into just a few days. (I often joke that my magic wand is broken and in the shop getting repaired).
There's work to do, and plenty of it. It needs to be taken seriously, implemented correctly, and practiced over several days, weeks, and sometimes months, to achieve important breakthroughs.
Why is this? It’s pretty simple, actually.
Any behavior that has been practiced and rehearsed for an extended period of time has become habitual, and is strongly ingrained. There are well-worn neural pathways that guide behavior. So, the longer a dog rehearses a specific behavior, the more entrenched it becomes.
This is true for humans too! It takes 21-days of regular practice and implementation for us humans to successfully establish a new habit! Why should dogs be any different?
But here’s the good news! With patience, and daily practice, the great majority of dogs, even dogs that are a little older or more resistant to change, can and DO change!
If your clients go into this with the right mind set, expect that it will take time, and know that they will have some minor setbacks along the way, they and their dog are much more likely to succeed!
Here are a few helpful tips to help your clients and their dogs succeed:
- Encourage clients to schedule time to train their dog every day. Their dog will learn more quickly if they keep training sessions short and sweet. Recommend that they work with their dog in short 3-5 minute sessions, 2-3 times per day.
- From time to time, encourage your clients to take their focus off of the serious behavioral concerns, and shake things up by teaching their dog some fun new behaviors, tricks, and games! Break up training sessions with play time. Use a variety of rewards, including yummy treats, affection, balls, squeaky toys, and a happy, upbeat voice.
- When working through difficult behaviors such as separation anxiety, fear, or aggression, clients will sometimes experience a major breakthrough moment, followed by a small setback. This is a perfectly normal part of the learning and conditioning process. I refer to this as the “2-steps forward, 1-step back” phenomenon. If you let them know what to expect ahead of time, they're much more likely to stay the course.
- Go slowly! Trying to rush training will backfire. Respect the process and realize that every dog is different. Some will sail through the process, and others will take what seems like an eternity to master even the simplest of tasks. There may be times when they will need to go back to “kindergarten” and repeat some of the basics. That’s okay! It’s more effective to take baby steps. You’ll be happier, and so will your dog.
- They should pay close attention to their dog’s body language for signs of stress, and if they notice ears back, tucked tail, lip licking, yawning, excessive scratching, body stiffening, etc., then it's best for them to stop and give Fido some time to rest and collect himself. Better to start fresh another day.
- Clients need to communicate their intentions clearly (with voice, body language, and hand signals) and reinforce correct responses from their dog in a timely manner (within two seconds of the desired response). It’s vitally important that they acknowledge even the smallest successes. Let them know that if they are feeling frustrated, and aren't connecting with their dog, it's wise to take a breather, and try to assess what they might need to do differently.
- Remind your clients that some days will be better than others. There are days when we function at a high level, and there are days when we can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other. That’s true for dogs too. If your dog is having an “off” day, it’s best to call it quits and try again another day.
When clients understand, from the start, that there will be work involved and that it will take time, effort, and consistency, over weeks or months, to see improvement in their dog's behavior, they're much more likely to stay the course, do the work, realize their training goals, and find success -- for them, and their dog.
